On Vacation

I'm leaving tomorrow for a five day visit with my dad and all my brothers and sisters. In the last year we've been able to see each other more than we had previously, and in a fun coincidence we will all be together on what would have been our parents' 64th anniversary. On the agenda, besides enjoying each other's company, is a rafting trip on the Salmon River and hiking. One of my brothers has been rafting on the river for the last 30 years or more, and knows all the best rapids. It will also be about ten degrees cooler than here. I am so looking forward to going.

I also feel a bit conflicted because we haven't heard yet what the medical report is on David. Last Friday he went to have an ultrasound on his gall bladder, and they ended up looking at his liver, kidneys and spleen as well. We're nervous, but he insists on me going ahead with my plans. He's also feeling the effect of not having a part-time job and is starting to have some anxiety. Hopefully he will be able to get something soon. He needs it not just for the money, but also to help him focus. We noticed that having to go to even a part-time job helped him work through his mood cycles. I think the heat is also affecting him.

He and our daughter Shannon, with her two children, are planning an overnight fishing trip while I'm gone. He's looking forward to that, and I think some time to himself as well. I'm just praying that the medical reports will be good.

Memorial Day Trip, 2010

David heard about some ancient Indian ruins in southeast Utah and was anxious to go see them this spring. The trip down was rough because he has such a hard time leaving his comfort zone. Once we found a campsite in a great central location, set it up, and took a nap he was fine.

One of the fun things about this trip was coming across other people who were also exploring the area and who were excited to tell us about what they had found. One acquaintance was a geologist who had worked in the area 30 years ago as a student helping to map out the ruins. He told us that there are ruins in almost all of the nearby canyons and that a good many are not on maps. He was right; and we had a lot of fun finding some of them:

We also went to Moon House ruins. The site is spectacular:

Sidenote: The hike to the ruins is not for the faint-of-heart, however. To get to it you have to climb down one side of the canyon and then climb back up the other side to get to the ruins. It was well worth seeing, but to be honest, on the way back I kept saying to myself, "I'm not doing this again!"

We were awestruck by the sites and the people who built them, and we wondered what their lives were like. Some of the rooms were incredibly small; probably grain storage. And some of the rooms were larger and could comfortably accommodate several people. I have to admit, though, that I felt increasingly more grateful for modern conveniences of running water, electricity, soft beds, and modern medicine as the weekend went on.

David forgot to pack his lithium, so we were extra diligent to make sure that he stayed calm and relaxed. I did bring his zyprexa, and had him take some the night before we came home so that he would stay calm for the drive back. He came through it really very well, and the post-vacation blues have been manageable.

Another problem were little stinging gnats that were out in full force; they must have just hatched. I came home grateful for the pleasures of hot epson salt baths, antihistamines, and anti-itch medicine. I have also been marveling at how quickly the skin will repair itself after so many bites. It will only be a few more days before I'm willing to expose others to the sight of my legs. A note: Do NOT hike in shorts and shortsleeves!

And this weekend I am looking forward to planting a flower garden and preparing my bedroom for painting. I had hoped to plant a vegetable garden, but realistically I won't be able to with all the painting I plan on doing.

I truly am grateful to be living in this day and age, and marvel at those who lived so long ago.

Have I mentioned how much I love desert flowers in the spring?

The Seattle Trip Report and Thoughts on Perseverance

Last weekend was one to savor for a long time to come! We started out going to the Oquirrh Mtn. Temple for our daughter and her family's sealing. A very sweet experience to witness along with a number of family members.

Then we were off to Seattle for a four-day visit with Soldier Brian and his family. I had originally planned to take David with me (see Looking at the Past and Going Forward), but when I told him about it five days before the trip, he backed out. He felt that it was too far out of his comfort zone because we were going to do some sight-seeing and visit with people he didn't know, and he was afraid he'd have a major anxiety attack. I appreciate him expressing his fears and being in tune with his emotional issues. Then he suggested we give his ticket to our son Ben, his wife, Emily, and their sixth-month-old daughter Kylee. It turned out to be something special; they were at a crossroads with his schooling and needed a break with some fresh perspective. David felt more comfortable staying at home and keeping on his meds and routine. He was a little manic from trying to stay level while I was gone, but he came through it with flying colors. And the house was still clean, which is always a happy thing to come home to.

Left: Brian and Libby from the Space Needle

Below: Seattle from the Bainbridge Ferry

Bottom: Deception Point

We had a good time visiting with friends and family, seeing the sites in Seattle, and going to Whidby Island and Deception Point on the Puget Sound. We lived near Tacoma when I was little, and spent a lot of time on Bainbridge Island where my aunt and uncle lived while I was growing up. I forget how much I like the Puget Sound area until I get a chance to see it again. Even though it was cool and overcast (we never did see Mt. Rainier), it was beautiful.

The best part for me, though, was spending time with my boys, their wives, and three grandbabies. Ben and Brian have always had a close bond (a twin thing), even when they've been apart for long periods of time. I so enjoyed sitting back and watching them and their wives laugh and talk together. And I got to hold the babies to my heart's content.

We talked at some length about Ben's work to finish his master's degree in nuclear engineering. He's close to being done, but sometimes that last push can seem neverending. We talked of Brian and Tania having to wait seven years for a baby. I thought of some of my own challenges that have taken time and effort to work through. I remembered a talk I heard by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland nearly 30 years ago when all seemed bleak to me. I was trying to raise three small children on a barely adequate salary, and my first marriage was about to end. I wondered if I would ever get past that point. But his comments helped give me courage to carry on. He recounted Churchill's stirring speech at the beginning of World War II, and the 40 year effort to build the Salt Lake Temple. Then he said this: "Blood, toil, tears, and sweat. The best things are always worth finishing. 'Know ye not that ye are the temple of God?' (1 Cor. 3:16). Most assuredly you are. As long and laborious as the effort may seem, please keep shaping and setting the stones that will make your accomplishment 'a grand and imposing spectacle.' Take advantage of every opportunity to learn and grow. Dream dreams and see visions. Work toward their realization. Wait patiently when you have no other choice. Lean on your sword and rest a while, but get up and fight again. Perhaps you will not see the full meaning of your effort in your own lifetime. But your children will, or your children’s children will, until finally you, with all of them, can give the Hosanna Shout."

I looked at my sons and their wives and children, thought about their brothers and sisters with their lives all going forward in positive directions. Were the tough times raising them worth the effort? Oh yes! Because of them, my joy is full.

Brian and Tania's family; cousins Eric and Kylee; Ben and Emily; the twins and their wives; Brian, me, and Ben

Trip Report

Duck Creek, on the way to Kanab


We've been unwinding, getting back up to speed at work, dealing with David's post-vacation depression (thankfully, fairly mild) this week. We keep looking back at last week, wishing we could do that again SOON. The sign of a good vacation.

We drove south through Cedar City to Cedar Breaks national monument; so pretty, but cold with snow on the ground. We eventually made our way down to Kanab in southern Utah and spent the rest of the time exploring the area.

Cedar Breaks National Monument

Cascade Falls Viewpoint, near Cedar Breaks

On the second night we went down a canyon looking for a camping spot when all of a sudden we saw the set for the old TV western "Gunsmoke!" That brought back tons of memories of watching old westerns when we were kids.

Old set for "Gunsmoke"

The next day we went to Paria Canyon and had fun exploring an old ghost town and abandoned western movie set. Even though the setting was beautiful with leaves changing color, old ghost towns seem forlorn, filled with withered dreams. I thought about the people who once made the area their home.

The Paria River

Remnant of an old ghost town

Remains of an old movie set

At an old western movie set

We decided to go to the Grand Staircase Escalante National Monument instead of going through Zion's National Park. It was a good decision. We spent most of three days exploring the area, and saw maybe 5 cars go by, and 6 people who were there besides us. We had the area to ourselves, and enjoyed hiking, exploring, camping and spending time talking about where we had been, and making plans for the coming months and years.

Look at the fall colors!

David hiking in a slot canyon in the Grand Staircase Escalante park

Grosvenor Arch

We hiked up to the back of Grosvenor Arch for this breathtaking view

We had our dogs, Sunny and Lucy, with us, and they had also had a grand time running and climbing. It turns out that Lucy is an excellent guard dog (she raised the alarm when she smelt coyotes nearby and scared them off), and Sunny is good at pointing out the best trails. He doesn't realize he's just a five-pound toy poodle.

Sunny (our poodle) and Lucy (our 10-month-old lab/pointer mix)

We were less than excited about coming home, but I admit that I was happy for a warm home, running water and a soft bed. We noticed that David's mood was sunny and upbeat while we were down south, and when we arrived in the valley (at rush hour), his mood almost immediately started changing. We realize he does best in sunny, wide-open, slow-paced places, and we are hopeful about spending more time exploring in areas such as southern Utah.

Sunset from our last campsite

Road Trip Report

We had a wildly successful first empty-nester trip over Memorial Day weekend.
The day before we left David had a major struggle with pre-trip anxiety. He always has a panic attack before we go anywhere outside of Salt Lake Valley and usually tells me that we can't/won't/shouldn't be going. He worked through it by going on a walk along the Jordan with the dogs. Sadly, Riley bolted off just before David could put his leash on after a swim, and ended up half a mile from David at a busy road, and was killed by a car. We were heartbroken. All through the weekend we felt peace and comfort in the loss of Riley, and David made it through the weekend without any more anxiety or major depressive episodes. We felt blessed and grateful.

Everyone else who had planned to go with us bailed at the last minute, but we were OK with that. It was important and healing for us to be by ourselves, talking and mourning as we needed to. We also enjoyed being by ourselves, coming and going as we pleased, and exploring little-traveled side roads. Usually that gets us into trouble, but this time we managed not to get stuck or lost (well, only a little, one time).

We love going to the desert in the early summer. The weather was still cool, and with recent rain, desert flowers were out in full force.

Cactus in bloom


David and I like to camp in out-of-the-way rough camps, and the first night we found a beautiful campsite near a river bottom. David had a good time fishing.

The next day we went to Goblin Valley and had a great time hiking and climbing in the rain. The weather forecast all week had been 80s and sunny. They were wrong. It was more like 70s and showery, but we decided we weren't going to let a little thing like rain destroy our vacation.

Goblin Valley

The cliffs at Goblin Valley

It was raining when we drove through Capital Reef, so we kept on going.

View of Capital Reef area from a mountaintop scenic view stop

We found a beautiful place to camp near the little town of Boulder in the Grand Staircase Monument. I was just starting to cook dinner, and David had started to put up a new tent that we bought from Kevin, but hadn't put the rain cover over it yet (he decided to go fish in the creek nearby instead), when it started to rain. The rain turned into a downpour! So there we were: David trying to put the rain cover on the tent in a driving rainstorm (it didn't work: we hadn't figured out how to put the tent up, and the weight of the raincover filled with rainwater caused the tent to collapse with most of our camp gear inside! Fortunately, our bedding was safe and dry in our SUV) and I was trying to cook pork chops in a pan that filled with water faster than I could empty it out and keep cooking. I'm not a great cook anyway, but this was by far the worst thing I have ever cooked: soggy, cold pork chops. But we choked it down, then sat in our car, looked at the soggy mess and laughed ourselves to sleep.

The weather sort of cleared up off and on the next day, and we went on to Escalante and Calf Creek Falls, then over to Kodachrome Basin and Bryce Canyon.

Calf Creek Falls

Kodachrome Basin

Bryce Canyon

We camped by a beautiful mountain lake called Pine Lake, where David caught a 3-5 pound trout! He was a happy camper.

Pine Lake

We were reluctant to join the rat race of the freeway, so we slowly made our way home on the backroads and enjoyed looking at the small towns along the way home.

We were able to relax and reconnect with each other in a way that hasn't happened very often. We noticed that David's moods were much better, and when he could feel himself slipping into depression because of the loss of Riley, he was able to pull himself out of it. It was wonderful to have some time with a well David. 

We're planning on doing some more trips like this one by ourselves.