Looking Back, Looking Forward

A few weeks ago we took two of our grandchildren on an overnight fishing trip to Lost Creek Reservoir, a favorite place when our children were young. When the reservoir was drained and strengthened a number of years ago, they did away with overnight camping and campfires. It was the end of an era for our family. However, below the dam is a campground that is still open, even though fires are prohibited. We were delighted to discover that we had the whole campground to ourselves.

When we walked around the campground, I thought of past camping trips to the area. One episode that happened before David was diagnosed stood out in my memory. There had been a family reunion scheduled nearby, and at the last minute David had a major anxiety attack and refused to go. I was not going to miss out on the chance to visit with my family members, so I repacked my car (instead of the truck and camper we were going to use), gathered up my four children who were going, and left David at home for the weekend. I have to admit it was a frightening thing to do, I'm grateful David was more or less OK when we came home, and I'm glad I went. After the reunion (and a good cry when everyone else had gone home), we decided we wanted to camp out another night and ended up at Lost Creek. That's when we discovered the reservoir had been drained. It was only a marginally successful experience because I was so worried about David's state of mind and didn't know what to do.

Fast forward more than ten years later. The reservoir is clean, quiet, and restored to its former beauty. David has accepted his diagnosis, adjusted to his medicine, and courageously and valiantly learned how to control his disorder. The four children I had with me that day are now married with families of their own.

I keep thinking about this episode because so often when we are in the middle of a trial, we wonder if it will ever end, and we expect the worst. But if we will keep doing our best and take it one day at a time, things work out. And often, it turns out that our darkest fears never materialize. For instance, a friend commented recently about the fears we faced as a society during the Cold War when bomb shelters were being built and we had drills in school about what to do if there was a nuclear blast. Happily, much of the hysteria of the time has ended, and although the theme of fear still exists in different ways, I believe that we will find our fears to be groundless even though it doesn't seem so right now.

When I find myself starting to fret and worry about David, family, society, the government, etc., I need to remember that there really is a loving Father who sees the beginning from the end and who will guide us if we let Him.

Trip Report

Duck Creek, on the way to Kanab


We've been unwinding, getting back up to speed at work, dealing with David's post-vacation depression (thankfully, fairly mild) this week. We keep looking back at last week, wishing we could do that again SOON. The sign of a good vacation.

We drove south through Cedar City to Cedar Breaks national monument; so pretty, but cold with snow on the ground. We eventually made our way down to Kanab in southern Utah and spent the rest of the time exploring the area.

Cedar Breaks National Monument

Cascade Falls Viewpoint, near Cedar Breaks

On the second night we went down a canyon looking for a camping spot when all of a sudden we saw the set for the old TV western "Gunsmoke!" That brought back tons of memories of watching old westerns when we were kids.

Old set for "Gunsmoke"

The next day we went to Paria Canyon and had fun exploring an old ghost town and abandoned western movie set. Even though the setting was beautiful with leaves changing color, old ghost towns seem forlorn, filled with withered dreams. I thought about the people who once made the area their home.

The Paria River

Remnant of an old ghost town

Remains of an old movie set

At an old western movie set

We decided to go to the Grand Staircase Escalante National Monument instead of going through Zion's National Park. It was a good decision. We spent most of three days exploring the area, and saw maybe 5 cars go by, and 6 people who were there besides us. We had the area to ourselves, and enjoyed hiking, exploring, camping and spending time talking about where we had been, and making plans for the coming months and years.

Look at the fall colors!

David hiking in a slot canyon in the Grand Staircase Escalante park

Grosvenor Arch

We hiked up to the back of Grosvenor Arch for this breathtaking view

We had our dogs, Sunny and Lucy, with us, and they had also had a grand time running and climbing. It turns out that Lucy is an excellent guard dog (she raised the alarm when she smelt coyotes nearby and scared them off), and Sunny is good at pointing out the best trails. He doesn't realize he's just a five-pound toy poodle.

Sunny (our poodle) and Lucy (our 10-month-old lab/pointer mix)

We were less than excited about coming home, but I admit that I was happy for a warm home, running water and a soft bed. We noticed that David's mood was sunny and upbeat while we were down south, and when we arrived in the valley (at rush hour), his mood almost immediately started changing. We realize he does best in sunny, wide-open, slow-paced places, and we are hopeful about spending more time exploring in areas such as southern Utah.

Sunset from our last campsite

Camping and Hiking Report

Happy 09-09-09!

Our August was a month full of activities: the end of school, my stepmother's funeral, work, and home improvement projects. We also managed to fit in a camping trip with our son Jonathan, his wife, Tawnya, 2 granddaughters, Jenna (8) and Gabby (7), and our 2 dogs, Sunny and Lucy, our 8-month old lab-pointer mix pup.

The plan was to camp near a reservoir that David remembered going to with his grandparents when he was young. Memory must have enlarged the lake in his mind because there wasn't much there now. We set off to find another place to camp. David and I both like exploring little traveled roads, and most of the time we have a good experience. This time, however, we saw a promising camp area, and went down a road that was little more than a cattle trail with a grass-covered stream beside it. Unfortunately, we didn't see the stream until it was too late.




Four hours, 2 jacks, a bunch of rocks that Tawnya collected while I entertained the girls, and several choice words later, we were back on solid ground. It was a pretty area, though.

We eventually found a better camping spot, and spent the rest of the weekend relaxing, visiting, playing with the girls and the dogs, reading (I brought a James Thurber book; it was great), fishing, and some more exploring of the countryside (without further mishap). David also found a horse pasturing. He brought the horse back to camp, made a bridle, and after exploring for a while, found its home. He enjoyed being on horseback again, even though he was sore afterward. It was all worth the effort of packing up and going.









A few weeks later we went on a day hike to see a waterfall with our daughter Brittany and her family. The day was perfect for hiking: not to hot, with an occasional rain shower to keep us cool. Her husband, Wes, and son Dylan had been there before and were our guides. Part of the trail was steep and rocky, but Wes and David were good to help me over the roughest parts. Sunny was also there by my side; we decided he would have pushed me up over the hard parts if he could have. The view at the end of the hike was worth all of the effort to get there.







So it is with life. We go farther with help and encouragement from friends and families. Especially when we get to steep, rocky parts and we don't know what lies ahead. And when we put forth effort and faith to keep going, we are rewarded by strengthened friendships and spectacular views that we couldn't see when we were struggling up the path.