Time Flies on Wings of Lightning

Time flies on wings of lightning
We cannot call it back. It comes, then passes forward Along its onward track.

And if we are not mindful, The chance will fade away,

For life is quick in passing. 'Tis as a single day. (Hymns, no. 226)

That about sums up what's been going on with us. Before I realize it, another week, then two, then three have passed since I last wrote.

Improve the shining moments; Don't let them pass you by.

Work while the sun is radiant; Work, for the night draws nigh.

We cannot bid the sunbeams To lengthen out their stay,

Nor can we ask the shadow To ever stay away.

I took some days off a few weeks ago. We spent one day fishing at Lost Creek, and then I spent two glorious days cleaning the house. It feels so nice to have clean(er) closets that I don't have to risk life and limb to get into. I also (sort of) organized the camping gear and put it away for the season. Organization is not one of my strong points, but I feel better about the state of the house.

I have also been extra busy at work with some writing projects, including 2 stories about leadership from the Spokane trip. I enjoy writing, but it does take a lot of time and effort with lots and lots of revisions and rewriting. I feel good about the end product, though, and appreciate the help from coworkers on making it a stronger article.

David has, for the most part, been stable with bouts of depression thrown in for good measure. Last week we helped out with a ward halloween party, and that put him in a better frame of mind. We had a potluck dinner of soup and chili, with pie for desert. Then the children went to 4 different decorated rooms in the building for "trick-or-treating." David interacts well with friends from the ward, and our son Jeff and his wife, Nikki, came for the festivities. A good time was had by all.

I have been doing some knitting and crocheting projects; I'm definitely a beginner, but it is relaxing to work on something. I'm not brave enough (yet) to try anything more than baby blankets, but I'll get there. I think of my grandma when I knit; it was something she loved to do, and taught me the skill when I was in high school. Somewhere along the way I quit doing needle work, then picked it up again a few years ago. I like it so much I can't imagine why I put it down in the first place.

I also started work on a HUGE family history project: scanning family history photos into the computer. That's something else that I feel strongly about doing, and hope to keep working on it through the winter months.

As winter time doth follow The pleasant summer days,

So may our joys all vanish And pass far from our gaze.

Then should we not endeavor Each day some point to gain,

That we may here be useful And ev'ry wrong disdain?

I am taking tomorrow off for our upcoming 24th anniversary. We plan on going fishing again. The weather is beautiful this week, and it seems like a good idea to take advantage of the last of the good weather. Besides, a day of knitting and reading sounds really good right now.

Daily Life and Time Issues (again)

One of my challenges is figuring out how much time I should spend with David vs. how much time I should spend on my own projects. I am finding, somewhat to my surprise, that I enjoy being with David, especially when he's in a stable period. A good thing. The problem is that I tend to get drawn into his activities at the expense of doing my own household chores and hobbies. And that can be very frustrating.

For example, David likes working with his hands on projects around the house, and wants me to drop what I'm doing to help him "for just a few minutes." He especially likes working on his pet project: a 1950 truck that he has rebuilt and lovingly calls his "hot rod." Although, when he's frustrated with it, he has less-than-printable words for it. The hot rod has been an ongoing hobby for the last 15 years (I'm really not kidding). Sometimes he's had it running, but he can't resist tinkering with it to make it faster, etc. The nice thing is that working on the hot rod has given him confidence in his skills, and something to focus on. This is the first summer in 3 years that he's been well enough to concentrate on it; a good thing. Jon and Ben have also been able to work with him on troubleshooting, so that he can get it up and running (yet again); a very good thing.


David and his hot rod (during one of its renovations; he later put the cab roof back on)

I listened to the program, Music and the Spoken Word on Sunday, and I appreciated the message (as well as the music) about problem-solving. I especially liked the thought that large problems can be solved by perseverance and taking it one step at a time.

So what's the solution? I don't have all the answers. I did decide that I'm going to relax a bit more and enjoy spending time with him, instead of resenting the time helping him. I also am doing some things just for myself. I started going to a book club with some friends, and we're reading "Three Cups of Tea." (Such a good book!) One of the wise village elders where the author was building a school reminded him that some things take time to build and not to expect everything to be done all at once. He also let him know that it was important to build relationships as well as projects. It was a good reminder.

David has done a good job lately of keeping his moods fairly even, with a few dark days thrown in to keep us on our toes. We've also had some fun family events: our granddaughter was baptized a few weeks ago. It was a sweet experience made sweeter by having all the children and grandchildren in the area there; something that doesn't happen very often because of conflicting schedules. Then, a few days later, we added a beautiful new granddaughter, Kylee, to the family. They make everything that we have struggled with worth the effort.

Isn't that the way life is: a mix of trials and joys? The trick is to learn to relax and enjoy the ride, which is sometimes easier said than done.

Time Management

One of the challenges that I struggle with is how to manage my time to get everything done that I would like. I work full time, have a small part-time evening job with David and our youngest daughter, go to school part-time to finish a degree, and try to take care of the house, the family budget, church assignments, etc. And that doesn't even count the other things that I want to do to take care of myself, or even do more research about mental health issues. It's easy to get overwhelmed, and I have to remind myself that I do not need to get every thing done at once, and that it's important to celebrate small successes. I like this reminder found in the Book of Mormon: "And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength." (Mosiah 4:27.)
I read an article about procrastination several months ago, and posted this on my wall: "What's the best thing you could be working on, and why aren't you?"
Sometimes that "best thing" is relaxing and playing. During the last few weeks I have been focusing more on the tasks I need to do during the week, and then slowing the pace down during the weekend. We've been able to visit with our children and grandchildren who live nearby, as well as with our Sailor son and his wife when they came home last weekend.
We also make a point of attending our Sunday church meetings. David goes as often as his health allows, and I go regularly because I have found that it gives me the peace and strength I need for the coming week. I've noticed that his moods aren't as severe during the week when we have a calmer weekend schedule.
I really don't like time management systems; I am a Type B personality and would rather stop and smell the roses than be tied to a hard and fast schedule. For a long time I could hardly even look at a printed day planner, although now I can use one when I absolutely have to.
My first husband loved making schedules and lists, and at one point insisted that I record what I was doing every 15 minutes. It nearly drove me crazy. I had three very young children, and we were living in a small, married-student apartment. I was also struggling badly with post-partum depression, and didn't know what was wrong with me. On one particularly bad day I heard the song "Garden Party" by Rick Nelson. I love the song, and especially related to the line: "You see, you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself." I decided that I had had enough of schedules, and threw mine out. It was one of the best things I ever did for myself.
This was before the onslaught of time management systems and day planners. I understand why they are needed, but that doesn't mean that I like them.