Time Flies on Wings of Lightning

Time flies on wings of lightning
We cannot call it back. It comes, then passes forward Along its onward track.

And if we are not mindful, The chance will fade away,

For life is quick in passing. 'Tis as a single day. (Hymns, no. 226)

That about sums up what's been going on with us. Before I realize it, another week, then two, then three have passed since I last wrote.

Improve the shining moments; Don't let them pass you by.

Work while the sun is radiant; Work, for the night draws nigh.

We cannot bid the sunbeams To lengthen out their stay,

Nor can we ask the shadow To ever stay away.

I took some days off a few weeks ago. We spent one day fishing at Lost Creek, and then I spent two glorious days cleaning the house. It feels so nice to have clean(er) closets that I don't have to risk life and limb to get into. I also (sort of) organized the camping gear and put it away for the season. Organization is not one of my strong points, but I feel better about the state of the house.

I have also been extra busy at work with some writing projects, including 2 stories about leadership from the Spokane trip. I enjoy writing, but it does take a lot of time and effort with lots and lots of revisions and rewriting. I feel good about the end product, though, and appreciate the help from coworkers on making it a stronger article.

David has, for the most part, been stable with bouts of depression thrown in for good measure. Last week we helped out with a ward halloween party, and that put him in a better frame of mind. We had a potluck dinner of soup and chili, with pie for desert. Then the children went to 4 different decorated rooms in the building for "trick-or-treating." David interacts well with friends from the ward, and our son Jeff and his wife, Nikki, came for the festivities. A good time was had by all.

I have been doing some knitting and crocheting projects; I'm definitely a beginner, but it is relaxing to work on something. I'm not brave enough (yet) to try anything more than baby blankets, but I'll get there. I think of my grandma when I knit; it was something she loved to do, and taught me the skill when I was in high school. Somewhere along the way I quit doing needle work, then picked it up again a few years ago. I like it so much I can't imagine why I put it down in the first place.

I also started work on a HUGE family history project: scanning family history photos into the computer. That's something else that I feel strongly about doing, and hope to keep working on it through the winter months.

As winter time doth follow The pleasant summer days,

So may our joys all vanish And pass far from our gaze.

Then should we not endeavor Each day some point to gain,

That we may here be useful And ev'ry wrong disdain?

I am taking tomorrow off for our upcoming 24th anniversary. We plan on going fishing again. The weather is beautiful this week, and it seems like a good idea to take advantage of the last of the good weather. Besides, a day of knitting and reading sounds really good right now.

Our Story: The Condensed Version

Bipolar disorder doesn't just affect the people who have it; it also affects their friends, family, acquaintances, and loved ones. Living with a spouse or significant other with bipolar disorder can be frustrating, irritating, confusing, baffling, frightening at times, and on occasion just plain overwhelming. One thing about it is that it isn't boring. I never really know what to expect from David, even now that he's taking his medicine and is reasonably stable.

When we were married 22 years ago, we had both been divorced and brought 6 young children, ranging in age from 4 to 10, with us into the marriage. It has not been easy, partly because we were dealing with broken and blended family issues, and partly because our children (now numbering 9) are energetic, strong-willed, high-spirited individuals. We now realize that some of our problems were caused by David's disorder, which was only diagnosed last year as bipolar 1, schizoaffective disorder. Fortunately we all survived the experience, and our children are law-abiding, productive members of society.

    For most of the time we have been married, David has dealt with mood swings and difficulties in keeping a job. Until last year, he was functioning all right and learning to keep his moods under control. Then he lost another job, and his illness took a turn for the worse. After several weeks of not being able to concentrate, struggling with hallucinations, and taking long walks when he was almost catatonic, he agreed to see a doctor. It was a relief to have a name for what was happening to him, and at the same time frightening because we knew so little about the disorder. This is what I wrote at the time: "We had a long, very interesting and helpful talk about what is happening to him, and I'm still digesting this piece of news. Fortunately, most of the time he's rational and able to tell me what is going on in his mind. I don't know much about this disease, and I have a million more questions than answers. I just feel my husband has been handed a life sentence for an incurable, but hopefully treatable disease. This feels overwhelming. One of my questions is what do I tell the kids? Another is how in the world am I going to find the time to deal with taking care of him and everything else?"

    Some of the answers have come easier than others, and I have learned how to cope better, but we are still learning and growing with this challenge.

    David and I saw a clip about mental illness a few nights ago on TV. We were delighted to see it because we feel that the more the public knows about mental illness, the easier it is to get understanding and better treatment. And every time I hear a public service announcement or read an article encouraging those with the disorder to get help or asking others to learn more about mental illness, I smile to myself and hope it is reaching someone who needs the message.