Updating Where We Are Now

After a few years hiatus, I thought I would like to update where we are now. I've missed writing, but have been busy with different projects and other issues. It is so easy to get out of the habit of writing!
1. UPDATE on David
Generally speaking, David has been doing better for the last two years. He's had his usual ups and downs, but is doing a good job at keeping stable. He had a few rough months this last winter, and after consulting with his doctor, realized that his lack of sleep is a big part of the problem. The doctor changed up his meds a little, had him take the meds later in the evening, and gave us a referral to a book that deals with sleep issues: "No More Sleepless Nights." Addressing his sleep issues seems to be helping David with his attitude and energy levels.
Last summer David was asked to help in a small congregation in our stake (like a diocese) at an apartment complex for elderly and disabled people. After some hesitation and a great deal of anxiety, he decided that he would like to try it. He loves it! And the experience of working with others who deal with similar issues to his, along with the warmth and love and acceptance he feels there is an important part of his healing. He takes his assignments to help seriously and he is growing spiritually as he prays every day and reads the scriptures several times a week. Serving others makes a huge amount of difference in controlling his disorder.
David's mother passed away around the same time as his new church assignment. Her passing, which means he has no nuclear family members left since his father, brother, and sister all died some years ago, and the closing of her home and all the memories attached to it was painful. We appreciate our oldest son's handling of the estate, and David is adjusting to the new normal reasonably well.
2. UPDATE on the Family
After spending eleven years in Mexico, our daughter Lara and her children moved back to the States last summer. (If you notice, the summer of 2016 was exceptionally busy!)
We were amazed at how smoothly and quickly everything fell into place: airline tickets at a great price, a home for them to stay in, a car, and jobs for Lara and her oldest son.
We are so happy to have them here and to get to know the children, ages 10, 13, 16, and 18. The change has been challenging for them, but they are doing a great job adjusting to having their lives turned upside down.
We also had two deployments with our military guys. Our son-in-law spent time in the Middle East, and Brian is currently doing a short tour of duty in Europe.
3. Other Odds and Ends
Along the way we have been making some much-needed home improvements: we are enjoying the garage, had new concrete done last year, and are working on making our yard better looking. I've been especially excited with the addition of two new fruit trees.
There have been several trips around the area, and we recently bought a new to us Jeep CJ7, along with a new truck and camper. We are looking forward to many coming adventures!

Our new dwarf peach tree in bloom

Our new dwarf Asian pear tree in bloom

early in the cement project

Easter Thoughts

I was happy to see these orchids bloom after a long winter. My son Jeff and his wife gave them to me last year for Mother's Day. I wondered if they would flower again, but sure enough, with the coming of spring, they did.

I love seeing new life come in the spring; something that never fails to delight and amaze me. Sometimes, in the dead of winter, I wonder if the days will ever warm up again, or if the trees and flowers will ever blossom again. But they always do.

And so it is with life. Sometimes, in spite of best efforts, life can seem dark and dreary, but always there is light at the end of the tunnel. I had one of "those dark days" yesterday when I questioned everything about my life. But today the sun is shining and I can see more clearly. It helped that I was able to enjoy a long lunch with longtime friends; the conversations and their encouragement helped put my life back in perspective again.

Some of my favorite verses are found in the book of John, and I am touched by Jesus' words to his Apostles on the eve of His crucifixion:

"But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.
"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
KJV, John 14:26–27

On the family front: Solder Brian deployed in April, and son-in-law Wes is working on Warrant Officer training in Georgia. We are proud of them and their service. It's at times like this that I appreciate words of comfort found in the scriptures. Joshua 1:9 reminds me that they are in God's care. I also find comfort in listening to hymns. This one, Our Savior's Love, helps when I start to worry: "Our Savior's love Shines like the sun with perfect light,/As from above, It breaks thru clouds of strife./Lighting our way, It leads us back into his sight,/Where we may stay To share eternal life."

Post Vacation Depression

David is having a bad spell with post-vacation depression.
I'm not really surprised, given all the stress that we've experienced in the past month: Our youngest getting married, my graduation, becoming empty-nesters, and our favorite dog getting killed.
I can see the signs when it starts getting harder for him to control, and I feel frustrated and sad that I can't do much more than give quiet sympathy when it overtakes him.
In the bad old days I took it personally when he distanced himself from me emotionally. That's when we argued the most. Now I realize it's one of the symptoms of his illness.
Here are some hard-won lessons that I've learned over the past 20 years on how to work with him. It's not that I'm perfect at it, but this is what works the best for us:
When he says he wants to be left alone, I've learned to give him space and continue on with my own projects and life.
He tends to say unkind and inappropriate remarks; I either ignore them and leave the room, or tell him as calmly as possible that he's out of control.
Most of the time when I ask him how he's doing he gives me full sentences about how he feels. When he's in this frame of mind, he gives me one word answers or a cold look. I've learned to accept the answer and not press for more.
David has very little energy and motivation right now. I accept what he does, and don't demand more than what he can give.
We usually have a nightly prayer together, and that always helps. Now is the time when I also need to put his name on the prayer roll at the temple.
I try to remember that a loving Father in Heaven knows him, his needs, and how best to help him. I've learned to "let go, and let God" take charge.