Easter Thoughts

I was happy to see these orchids bloom after a long winter. My son Jeff and his wife gave them to me last year for Mother's Day. I wondered if they would flower again, but sure enough, with the coming of spring, they did.

I love seeing new life come in the spring; something that never fails to delight and amaze me. Sometimes, in the dead of winter, I wonder if the days will ever warm up again, or if the trees and flowers will ever blossom again. But they always do.

And so it is with life. Sometimes, in spite of best efforts, life can seem dark and dreary, but always there is light at the end of the tunnel. I had one of "those dark days" yesterday when I questioned everything about my life. But today the sun is shining and I can see more clearly. It helped that I was able to enjoy a long lunch with longtime friends; the conversations and their encouragement helped put my life back in perspective again.

Some of my favorite verses are found in the book of John, and I am touched by Jesus' words to his Apostles on the eve of His crucifixion:

"But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.
"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
KJV, John 14:26–27

On the family front: Solder Brian deployed in April, and son-in-law Wes is working on Warrant Officer training in Georgia. We are proud of them and their service. It's at times like this that I appreciate words of comfort found in the scriptures. Joshua 1:9 reminds me that they are in God's care. I also find comfort in listening to hymns. This one, Our Savior's Love, helps when I start to worry: "Our Savior's love Shines like the sun with perfect light,/As from above, It breaks thru clouds of strife./Lighting our way, It leads us back into his sight,/Where we may stay To share eternal life."

Easter Thoughts

I love the verses in Isaiah that describe Jesus Christ's sacrifice for us:

"Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.

"But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed." (Isaiah 53:4–5, KJV)

And the joyous words of the angel to Mary Magdalene: "Ye seek Jesus of Nazareth, which was crucified: he is risen; he is not here: behold the place where they laid him." (Mark 16:6, KJV)

It seems appropriate that Easter is celebrated in the spring: a time of renewal and new life springing forth.
A reminder of Him who gave His life so that we can live with Him again.
Of increasing faith which works together with hope to make life feel bright again after enduring days of darkness. Indeed, we find hope in Jesus Christ.

A friend of mine at the magazines wrote an essay on the subject recently, and I wanted to share this poem of his that describes hope and faith so well:

Walking with Two Sisters

By Larry Hiller

Faith walks before me,

Holding up her lamp

As I try not to stumble in the ink-dark hours before the dawn.

Her light illuminates

One step and then another.

Beside me, Hope, arm linked with mine, encourages and steadies.

Sometimes in the tedium,

Distracted by the pain,

My mind begins to wander, then my feet.

I hesitate.

Unsure, I look to Hope.

Her hand takes mine.

The touch reminds me of another hand held out to me,

One pierced and scarred

Yet oh so tender

Lifting me and blessing me when I had fallen and despaired.

Remembering, I move ahead

Buoyed up by Hope, who sees the end with perfect clarity.

Update on David: His moods are finally stabilizing! The down days are not as extreme; most days he is in happy spirits. We are grateful!

Post Vacation Depression

David is having a bad spell with post-vacation depression.
I'm not really surprised, given all the stress that we've experienced in the past month: Our youngest getting married, my graduation, becoming empty-nesters, and our favorite dog getting killed.
I can see the signs when it starts getting harder for him to control, and I feel frustrated and sad that I can't do much more than give quiet sympathy when it overtakes him.
In the bad old days I took it personally when he distanced himself from me emotionally. That's when we argued the most. Now I realize it's one of the symptoms of his illness.
Here are some hard-won lessons that I've learned over the past 20 years on how to work with him. It's not that I'm perfect at it, but this is what works the best for us:
When he says he wants to be left alone, I've learned to give him space and continue on with my own projects and life.
He tends to say unkind and inappropriate remarks; I either ignore them and leave the room, or tell him as calmly as possible that he's out of control.
Most of the time when I ask him how he's doing he gives me full sentences about how he feels. When he's in this frame of mind, he gives me one word answers or a cold look. I've learned to accept the answer and not press for more.
David has very little energy and motivation right now. I accept what he does, and don't demand more than what he can give.
We usually have a nightly prayer together, and that always helps. Now is the time when I also need to put his name on the prayer roll at the temple.
I try to remember that a loving Father in Heaven knows him, his needs, and how best to help him. I've learned to "let go, and let God" take charge.