Recovering from all the excitement

In addition to the graduation last week, we had some other big events take place: Our youngest daughter married the week before; our daughter Lara who was visiting from Mexico went back home; our son Brian graduated and was commissioned an Army officer in Kentucky (same day); and we became empty-nesters on Mother's Day weekend. Mother's Day is a tender time for me and usually comes with tears, mostly because I miss my mother who passed away when I was 21. Fortunately, David understands, and we reverse roles: he takes care of me emotionally.

David came through the last month of big stress really very well, but it's starting to take a toll on him. He had a couple of bad days and nights, including one involving fishing on the Jordan River (his latest hobby) at 10:00 p.m. Fortunately, our hero dog Riley was uneasy and pushed him back toward the car and home. (It's a little difficult to ignore a 90 lb. dog nudging against you.) I figure if that's as bad as he gets, we're all right. He has noticed more noises, and mood swings, but, as he says, he gets up every morning and fights to be normal. He's doing a good job of staying on top of his moods with his meds and talking through it with me. 

I've been stressed as well, and I notice that when I'm over tired and stressed I have a hard time concentrating on tasks at hand, and I am more forgetful. (A bad thing, since I tend to be absent minded anyway.)

Right now, we're gearing up for a big Memorial Day trip to the parks of Southern Utah. He always stresses over upcoming trips, so we'll see how this goes. It started out as a trip for just the two of us, then he decided he wanted to have the kids come, too. At this point, it's us, David's ex, Bette, 2 of our daughters, and 2 grandchildren. I can hardly wait for this weekend!

Since I am a sometimes (ok. always) gushy mother, and so very proud of my children, here are a few pix from our month.

Katie and her new husband, Kevin

Ben (a graduate engineering student) and Brian (a poli science graduate and new officer)

Brian, being commissioned by his twin, Ben, and his wife, Tania

The first salute to his ex-Marine brother, Jonathan

Graduation Thoughts

I graduated yesterday at age 53 from the University of Utah with a BA in Mass Communication. It was a bittersweet day, filled with the excitement of finishing an almost-6 year project, reflecting on the past, looking toward the future, and sharing it with loved ones.

After the commencement ceremony

In front of the communication building, where I spent a lot of time.

With my dad

David McCullough, the historical writer, received an honorary degree and was the commencement speaker. For a history buff, it was a real treat. He compared our accomplishments with the building of the Brooklyn Bridge—the first man-made wonder in America. Here are some of the comments, among the many, that I appreciated:
"Had the American dream been handed to us all in tidy order, all done up with everything set to operate perfectly in perpetuity, we would hardly be the people we are."
"History can be a great source of inspiration. Learn from the past and don't take the 'familiar' things for granted."
"And make it your practice to ask people about themselves and what they've learned from experience. Don't ever forget that there isn't a man or woman, no matter their appearance or station in life, who doesn't know something, or how to do something, that you don't."

I loved my time at the U. I thought it was invigorating and exciting. My older sister, Barb, came for the ceremony, and after the commencement, but before the convocation where I actually walked across the stage, I showed her around the campus. It's a beautiful campus, set high on the hill, with a lot of trees and a combination of old and new buildings. She worked as an educator in the community college in Washington for 28 years, and was instrumental in talking me into going back to school. We agreed that one of the things we love about colleges is the enthusiasm and passion of the students, as well as expanding horizons.

One of my favorite views of the campus

I decided to go back to school thirty years after getting my associate degree from Ricks College (now BYU—Idaho) when I started feeling stale, and the youngest two were in high school. I suppose it was a form of mid-life crisis, but I also knew that if I didn't do something to update and further my work skills, I would end up in a dead-end job. So with the help and encouragement of family, friends, David, workmates, professors, and other students, I went to school part-time and had a wonderful, successful experience that has already helped my career. (By the way, my final grade in the statistics class was a lovely C! I feel really good about that, especially considering that I had only one (1) hour to study before the final.)
David has been great about supporting me, and we agreed that after we settle in to being empty-nesters, I may go back for a Masters degree in a few more years. I already have a project in mind: interviewing and writing about the affect of bipolar disorder on spouses.

On Becoming Empty-Nesters

I am only six weeks away from graduation—I just got the official information about the commencement services today. (I do have to take an online statistics class this summer, and then I'll really be done with this project.) So exciting!! The class has gone better than I really expected. I took another test on Tuesday, and should have a clearer picture tomorrow on how well I'm doing. I just keep repeating to myself: "Cs earn degrees."
We have also been busy with wedding plans. Our youngest, Katie, is getting married May 1, and we're now in full swing with preparations. Last weekend I went with Katie and Kevin (her fiance), and Krista while they took engagement photos. Krista did a great job with them. Here's one that was taken on Antelope Island in the Great Salt Lake at sunset:

David has been doing all right with the increase in his medicine, but lately the noise in his head is back, full force. We think that part of the problem is work-related stress. He works part-time for a janitorial company, and after his six-month medical leave, they finally put him back to work at a regular position that he shared with another man. Unfortunately, today we found out that the people where he was working wanted someone there full time, which he can't do, so he's back to only working nights with Katie and me. It all takes such a bad toll on his sense of self-worth when things like this happen. He's also nervous about this upcoming wedding, and what it will be like for us to be empty-nesters. I frankly am rather excited about the change, even though I'll miss having Katie at home. David, on the other hand, doesn't like change. He keeps saying, "what if we don't like each other?"
"We'll be fine," I tell him.
or "what are we doing to do without kids around?"
"Relax and enjoy ourselves," I say.
or "maybe we should take in a foster child."
"We've done that before, and I'm not even remotely interested," I said with great emphasis.
We're thinking of taking a real vacation, all by ourselves, over Memorial Day weekend. I can hardly wait!

Update: I didn't do well on the last test, so I picked myself up, dusted off my wounded pride, and tried again with homework assignment number 3. Only 1 more assignment and a test to go!
Wedding plans are continuing at a fast pace: invites are done, we had a bridal shower, now it's on to flowers and food, and finding me a dress.