Looking at the Past and Going Forward

I finished up my assignment of producing clean copy for the Ensign's general conference edition of the magazine this week. It is an exciting, time-consuming, occasionally overwhelming project that has dominated my life for the last 28 Aprils and Octobers. But it has also been an incredible blessing and an important part of my life as well. The sermons have enriched my life, and this time was no exception. I especially liked this thought:

"As we pass through the trials of life, let us keep an eternal perspective, let us not complain, let us become even more prayerful, let us serve others, and let us forgive one another. As we do this, “all things [will] work together for good to [us] that love God.”¹⁰ I bear a solemn and certain witness that our Father loves us and He sent His Son to show and pave the way for us." (James Martino)
When I first started working for the magazine in 1982, technology was still primitive; I worked on a stand-alone word processor that was just one step up from a typewriter. In order to meet the press deadline for the magazine, we worked long hours, including a 10-hour day on the Saturday during conference. My personal life also seemed to intensify during that time period too: I left my 1st husband, the divorce became final, my romance with David blossomed, we moved into our house, I was barely back from maternity leave (2 times), etc.
Making sure my older children, who were very young at the time, were taken care of during those weeks always added extra anxiety to my life. Then, in October 1986, David saw my stress level rise and took charge. We were dating fairly seriously at the time, and he announced on the Thursday before conference, "I'm taking the kids for you after school on Friday and you won't see us again until Sunday afternoon!" That sealed the deal; we married one month later.
Since then, the marvels of technology has made the job increasingly easier, and because of my change in assignments a few years ago, I have been slowly turning over more and more of my responsibilities for conference to the very capable hands of the Ensign secretary.


The weather has been getting slowly warmer, and even with a few down days thrown in for good measure, David's mood is stabilizing. We've even been discussing vacation plans for the summer months. We're thinking another trip to southern Utah will be in order, as well as some fishing trips, and a visit to my dad in Idaho. (That's Goblin Valley on the left, near where we want to go.)

Baby Eric and Big Sister Libby
I also have a big surprise for David: I just bought tickets to go to Seattle the first weekend of May so that we can see Soldier Brian and his family! I'm giddy with excitement over this trip. I decided not to tell him about it until the week before we go because if I do, he will a) stress himself sick over it, or b) refuse to go. This way (and we've joked about my having to do this for trips) I will have everything already done, and after he gets over being (undoubtedly) upset, he won't have to worry about anything but getting on the airplane. I'm taking extra zyprexa, just in case. Wish us luck! But look at those sweet faces; how can I resist a chance to go see them? I'm also excited to see my aunt and uncle who live in the area. I simply can't wait to go! The challenge is keeping it a secret!

On Becoming Empty-Nesters

I am only six weeks away from graduation—I just got the official information about the commencement services today. (I do have to take an online statistics class this summer, and then I'll really be done with this project.) So exciting!! The class has gone better than I really expected. I took another test on Tuesday, and should have a clearer picture tomorrow on how well I'm doing. I just keep repeating to myself: "Cs earn degrees."
We have also been busy with wedding plans. Our youngest, Katie, is getting married May 1, and we're now in full swing with preparations. Last weekend I went with Katie and Kevin (her fiance), and Krista while they took engagement photos. Krista did a great job with them. Here's one that was taken on Antelope Island in the Great Salt Lake at sunset:

David has been doing all right with the increase in his medicine, but lately the noise in his head is back, full force. We think that part of the problem is work-related stress. He works part-time for a janitorial company, and after his six-month medical leave, they finally put him back to work at a regular position that he shared with another man. Unfortunately, today we found out that the people where he was working wanted someone there full time, which he can't do, so he's back to only working nights with Katie and me. It all takes such a bad toll on his sense of self-worth when things like this happen. He's also nervous about this upcoming wedding, and what it will be like for us to be empty-nesters. I frankly am rather excited about the change, even though I'll miss having Katie at home. David, on the other hand, doesn't like change. He keeps saying, "what if we don't like each other?"
"We'll be fine," I tell him.
or "what are we doing to do without kids around?"
"Relax and enjoy ourselves," I say.
or "maybe we should take in a foster child."
"We've done that before, and I'm not even remotely interested," I said with great emphasis.
We're thinking of taking a real vacation, all by ourselves, over Memorial Day weekend. I can hardly wait!

Update: I didn't do well on the last test, so I picked myself up, dusted off my wounded pride, and tried again with homework assignment number 3. Only 1 more assignment and a test to go!
Wedding plans are continuing at a fast pace: invites are done, we had a bridal shower, now it's on to flowers and food, and finding me a dress.