A Trip to Little Rock

The actual little rock that was a landmark for early river men.

I've been finishing up stories from my trip to Little Rock. I enjoyed meeting with and interviewing some of the LDS teens in the area. They are delightful, intelligent, well-spoken leaders in their schools and with their friends. I've said it before: meeting with this rising generation gives me hope for the future as they wrestle with issues and situations far more complex than what I had to deal with while growing up. We talked about the importance of staying true to their beliefs even when others criticize them. They know that when others are doing something they feel uncomfortable with that it's important to find something else to do, even when that means leaving the crowd.

One of the leaders who helped me set up interviews arranged for me to see the Clinton Library as well as a have a tour with the principal of Little_Rock_Central_High_School. They were great! I especially appreciated the tour of the high school and learning more about the Little Rock Nine. I was too young to remember that event, but I do remember the civil rights movement of the 1960s. I admire their strength and courage in persevering against tremendous odds for something that they believed in.

I also had the pleasure of meeting a family who have been able to work together through issues of severe chronic pain and bipolar disorder that their husband and father struggles with. I admired their spirit and appreciated the reminder that prayer and faith are an indispensable part of managing the disorder. He also talked about the importance of humor, talking through issues, forgiveness, and letting others help: "it's good for everyone, both giver and receiver, when help is offered and accepted."

I had some time to take in a few of the sites around downtown Little Rock. 

Arkansas River

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Steamboat Arkansas

A view of the hotel and the sculpture garden

The Peabody Hotel Ducks

These sculptures are part of a sculpture garden along the river front

One of my favorites

The first state capitol, now a museum with a great exhibit about the role of women on the Arkansas frontier

These fun sculptures were near a park featuring old log houses

At sunset

At the riverfront open air market

Little Rock will never be just another dot on a map to me again.

Happy Spring!

I hadn't intended on taking such a long break from this blog. It seems that days melt into each other, and before I know it, one month passes, and a new season is here.

So, a quick update on what we've been doing:

December: I went to Little Rock, Arkansas, on assignment. I had a wonderful time and met some great people. The downside was that I had a hard time getting things done for the Christmas season, and David had a hard time with me being gone during the winter. Note to self: avoid scheduling work trips in December if at all possible.

January: David had carpal tunnel surgery on his right wrist. He came through it with flying colors, and his mood was bearable with a hint of more depression coming.

Unfortunately I came down with a case of bronchitis at the same time. I'm not a great nurse anyway, but I wasn't able to take care of him as much as I wanted to. We decided to have a Harry Potter marathan while we recovering from our ailments and ended up spending most of the week in our pjs watching all of the Harry Potter movies. I liked Dumbledore's comment to Harry at the very end of the series, "Don't pity the dead; pity those who live without love."

March: Remember the Highway Patrol incident last June? Yes, the one where David was pulled over for reckless driving and taken to jail. We had to go to court to answer the charges of 1) DUI, 2) Possession of a controlled substance, and 3) reckless driving. We hired a good attorney to help us, and he was able to get the court to drop the DUI (because there was nothing in his bloodstream except for his meds) and the possession of a controlled substance (because it was just a small amount of his prescription meds). However they wanted to change the reckless driving charge to "impaired driving." We go to court in June to see if we can get that last charge dropped. It wasn't the meds that caused the problem; it was a bipolar episode, and he hasn't had any problems since then.

April: David had surgery on his left wrist two weeks ago. He's recovering from the surgery well, but depression and anxiety is taking a toll on him. His part-time job ended, and he worries excessively about finding another job and related issues.

On the family front: Soldier Brian came home from Afghanistan in January, and we're so glad to have him stateside again.

Celebrating Our Silver Anniversary

David and I recently celebrated our 25th anniversary. We are quite proud of ourselves for reaching this milestone and feel grateful for our family and our life together, even with all of its ups and downs over the years.

Wedding photo

Our children at the wedding

I've been thinking all fall about the first time we went camping. It was Labor Day weekend, and  Shannon's 4th birthday. He had his children for the weekend, and offered to watch mine while I went to get my hair cut. When we got to his house, he was busily preparing to go camping for the weekend and invited us to go. We hadn't been dating for very long so while I was getting my hair cut I thought of all the reasons why we shouldn't go. But when I got back I couldn't resist the pleas of six children and David.

"But I don't have any camping equipment," I said at one point.
"Doesn't matter," he said, "I have everything all packed. All you need are some pillows and blankets for you and your kids." He had borrowed his roommate's truck and pop-up tent trailer for the weekend. So after a stop at my apartment, and a quick trip to the grocery store for some last minute items, we headed to a nearby canyon.

While the children were having fun playing together and running around the campsite, David and I started setting up camp. Then we made a horrifying discovery: he forgot the key to the trailer! That meant that everything in the trailer (all the food, the beds, etc.) were safely locked away and we couldn't get to them. We discussed what we should do, including going back home, but the kids begged us to stay. We decided we could make it work . . . until we realized that we didn't have any matches for a fire! Fortunately some people were camping nearby and graciously let us have some matches when we explained our predicament.

We had fun sitting around the campfire, which was something new for my children, telling stories and roasting hot dogs and marshmallows. When it came time for bed, we decided to have the 3 boys sleep together under a tree with 2 of the blankets and pillows. David and I put the 3 little girls between us and tried to get comfortable in the back of the pickup. It was icy! We eventually gave that up. The girls and I ended up sleeping in the cab, and David slept on the ground by the campfire. It was a long, cold night.

I liked David's sense of adventure and willingness to make the best out of a bad situation. Our children also had a good time together (it was our first joint outing). After that memorable trip we dated more seriously and ended up marrying two months later. It was the beginning of many camping adventures together.

We had a small wedding ceremony with just a few friends and family in attendance. I don't suppose that any one who was there really believed that we could make this family work. We had so many strikes against us, including very little money, broken and blended family issues, as well as David's health problems that included bad knees not to mention the undiagnosed bipolar disorder.

So often our life together has resembled that camping trip. There were many times when we wondered if we would make it, but quitting never seemed like the right thing to do. We have had our share of unexpected events that have demanded some creative solutions to the problems.

And so here we are: David is doing much better at controlling his disorder, our relationship is better than it has ever been, and our children are happy, healthy, productive adults raising their own families. We are proud of each of them and our 18 grandchildren.

The words of the Thanksgiving hymn come to mind:

Now thank we all our God
With hearts and hands and voices,
Who wondrous things hath done,
In whom his earth rejoices;
Who, from our mother's arms,
Hath blessed us on our way
With countless gifts of love,
And still is ours today.


Oh, may our bounteous God
Through all our life be near us,
With ever joyful hearts
And blessed peace to cheer us,
And keep us in his love,
And guide us day and night,
And free us from all ills,
Protect us by his might.

Our family through the years:

Our first family portrait

With all the children

Just before the oldest left home

At Jeff's wedding in 2008

At Katie's wedding in 2009

A Fishing Trip Observation

David and I went fishing one last time for the season. Although it was overcast and chilly, and the fishing was slow, David was more relaxed and able to enjoy the peaceful day. The depression that has had him in its grip all summer and fall is finally loosening its hold. We don't know why exactly, but we're grateful that it is and that David can find more enjoyment in life.
The dogs had a good time running around and kept us entertained. When Sunny, our toy poodle, get tired of the running he likes to curl up in my bag for a nap.

Sunny napping

Lucy, our lab/pointer mix, is still afraid of the water. We thought she'd outgrow her fear and take to the water as her breed is known to do. But no; she still refuses to get wet above her knees.

She and David were playing a game of fetch when the stick landed in the water, just outside of her comfort zone. She wanted that stick!

Pacing and whining

She stood on the rocks at the shoreline and stretched as far as she could. She went in up to her knees and tried to reach for it, but no luck. The stick was within easy reach if she would go just a little further in, but she wouldn't do it. Instead, she paced along the shore and whined and paced again.

So close but so far away 

Stretching as far as possible 

Even though the stick was moving closer to shore, she wouldn't reach for it. I finally coaxed her, and sweet success!

Finally!

She retrieved it and pranced around happily.

Lucy enjoying her stick

Isn't that how we behave on occasion? So often a goal is within reach if we'll just stretch a little and move outside our comfort zone. That's when we need encouragement and support from those who can see what's ahead better than we can.
I also spent some time reading a new book about the history and purpose of Relief Society. I enjoyed reading about this organization and liked what Eliza R. Snow, an early leader, had to say, "Let them seek for wisdom instead of power and they will have all the power they have wisdom to exercise." The book also discussed the importance of unity and cooperation. I appreciated this excerpt from the Proclamation on the Family: "Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities." David and I have found that using these principles are absolutely vital in our efforts to understand and keep this disorder under control.
Like Lucy and her stick, it was only when we finally put aside our fears and pride that we were able to work together much more effectively to reach our goal of stability and peace.

On the family front: Happy Halloween!
From our party last weekend: 

 

 

A Day of Fishing and Relaxation

The sun was shining, the skies were blue, and the temps mild. David and I loaded up the car with fishing gear, food, and the dogs. We headed out to our favorite fishing spot at Lost Creek for a day of fishing and relaxation.

I have been frustrated with a bad case of writers block and hoped a change of scenery would help. While David set up his fishing gear, the dogs and I took a long walk in the surrounding foothills. The weather and lighting was just right to play around with photography. I feel my muse returning.

Golden Aspens

Sagebrush

A little sign I saw among the sagebrush and trees

scrub oak leaves

The fishing has been really slow all summer and fall. We think it's because the spring and summer were so wet that there was an abundance of feed, and the fish were interested in bait and worms. Whatever the reason, David was a bit frustrated because he only had a few nibbles and one catch. I took a sip of juice and met up with a bee who had the same idea. OWWW!

David contemplating where to throw in his line

A little thicket with the beginning of fall colors

Lucy among some weeds

David is still working through some depression, but he's taking the right dosage of medicine, avoiding triggers as much as possible, and working hard to keep it from overrunning his life. He recently started working at a condominium where he does light maintenance work and can set his own time and pace. We're grateful for it.

On the family front:

We visited our son Ben and his family for my birthday in September. David had a bad case of travel anxiety before we left, to the point where I seriously considered leaving him home. Fortunately, once we were on our way he calmed down, and we had a nice three hour drive north. I forgot my camera in my haste to get going! We enjoyed a relaxing visit, were excited to see their new home, and had fun playing with the grandchildren (ages 5, 4, 2, and 6 months). When four-year-old Hailee found out it was my birthday, she said, "Where are your presents? She giggled when I said, "You're my present!" I don't think she believed me, but seeing them settled and happy was the best present I could ask for.

I had a nice chat with Soldier Brian recently when he was home on mid-tour leave. He had a great time relaxing and being with his wife and three young children (3, 18 months, 7 months). "They've grown so much since I've been away!" he said. Brian puts in long hours, but he says it helps the time pass quickly. We'll be glad when he's back home to stay. 

Our Mexican branch of the family are also doing very well. I've been able to call them regularly. I'm so grateful they now have cell phone service. They recently began attending their local ward, and they all tell me how much happier they are. Thirteen-year-old Zachary says, "It's changed our family for the better." I hear it in their voices, and I believe him.

We're having a halloween party next weekend for the family here in the valley. I can't wait!

When I get tired and discouraged I am learning to change my thinking and count my blessings instead. And, truthfully, even with our challenges, we have much to be grateful for.