Women's Month

I noticed that March is designated as Womens Month. It seems appropriate, since that is also the month of the founding of the Relief Society, the women's organization in the Church that focuses on serving others. It made me think about the women who have been influential in my life: friends, coworkers, leaders, teachers, aunts, cousins, sisters, sisters-in-law, my mothers-in-law and grandmothers-in-law. All have enriched and blessed my life. I am thankful for them.

So much could (and probably should) be written about them, but lately I've been thinking of the women in my family who came before me. I am fortunate to have a number of their stories and journals, and have learned much from them; not only about their lives, but also about how to manage the challenges that come from living. I also learn more about who I am from reading about their experiences.

Kitty lived on the plains of Canada during the Great Depression and kept a daily log of what she was doing. When I was going through my divorce and dealing with being a single mother, my dad gave me a copy of his paternal grandmother's daily log. I loved reading about her day-to-day life in a time and place that is so different from my own. I also found great comfort in realizing that seasons come and seasons go, even during times of great difficulty. One of my favorite entries is her description of going to her daughter-in-law's funeral in 1935. She writes: "Montana and North Dakota, these are the landmarks I saw: fire brakes, gravel pits, wind mills, russian thistles, small buildings, sick-looking trees, alkali ponds. Poor fields and late grain--many hardships I am sure. Many barbwire fences, very poor feed for many miles. Barren and drifting soil, wide open spaces. Lilac time--3 shades white, pink & lavender (lovely). Rode all night of the 6th of June, and all day the 7th."


Clara grew up in the Boston area, raised by her aunt after her mother died in childbirth. She came west to join her older sister when she was a young lady, and eventually married and raised her family. I don't have any of her written words, but from my dad I know she attended Washington State University as one of the first female students and firmly believed in being actively involved in community life.

Clara's daughter, Margery, was my paternal grandmother. Sadly, she died when my father was still a young boy. I do, however, have a diary she kept for several months that gives me a glimpse into her life and reveals her personality. I love this description of a walk: "April 15, 1932: Made a hurry-up trip to town, went to Burtenshaw's and, after school, for a walk to the park and back, picking flowers."

Margery's 1932 diary

I recently found the obituary of Hester, one of my great-great-grandmothers, and was excited to learn more about her. She was from Indiana, and with her husband and children gradually moved west, settling in the Wallowa area of Oregon when it was in its pioneer period.

All of these women suffered from loss, and disappointment, and hard times, but they also believed in hard work and perseverance. Kitty, Clara, Margery, and Hester came through their challenges with flying colors and it gives me the courage to keep trying.

On the family front: My oldest brother, Mike, and his wife are living and teaching in Tokyo, Japan. They came through the earthquake all right. But, like the rest of the world, our hearts are saddened by the tragedy.

A Look Back at 2010

We enjoyed a quiet Christmas at home this year; our first as empty-nesters. We found that by keeping holiday plans simple, and sticking to routine as much as possible helped David stay calm and enjoy the season. I was excited and touched when he surprised me with an early Christmas gift—refinishing my mother's old maple drop-leaf table. It had been one of her prized possessions, and several years after her passing, I got it. Over time it became worn out so we retired it and bought a new table. I'm so happy to have it looking good again and being able to use it. 

My new/old table

Looking back at the last year, I realize that we had a lot of good things happen during 2010. The best part was watching David get progressively better at managing his moods. It's true that there were some bumps in the road, but for the most part he can sense when his moods are changing and knows how to better control them so they don't take over. I am really proud of him. I also became more involved in an online support group for spouses with bipolar. I enjoy the friendships and appreciate the insights found there.

There were a number of exciting events with our children, including two new grandbabies; Jeffrey finishing up his Navy contract, coming home, starting a new job, and buying a house; Brian and Wes moving forward in their military careers; Ben finishing up his degree, starting his new career, and moving his family into their new home.

We went on a road trip, had several fishing expeditions, and had a camping trip with the family. I went to McCall for a visit with my dad and siblings. And in May I went to Seattle with Ben and his wife to visit Brian's family.

An Indian ruin in southeastern Utah

Near Boise Idaho, from the air

Buckeye Lake in the Uintah Mountains

At the cemetery

Spokane Falls

Monroe Bridge, where Dad hung out as a boy

One of the highlights of the year for me was the trip to Spokane, Washington, for the magazine. My dad grew up in the Spokane area, so after I finished up working he joined me for a few days. I always love being with and talking to him, but those were an especially sweet two days. He showed me the important places of his childhood, including his parents' and grandparents' graves, the homes they lived in during the Depression, and the schools he attended. I took pictures and recorded the stories he told about each site we visited.

We also drove to an area two hours north, along the Columbia River, where he grandparents settled, and where his parents grew up. It is beautiful, sparsely populated country, and I understood why they were drawn there around the turn of the century.

The Columbia River near the Canadian Border

His grandparents were prominent citizens of one of the towns, which at one time had a population of nearly 5,000 people. They also planted a large orchard; unfortunately, fumes from an ore smelter upriver eventually killed the trees, the Depression hit, and the creation of Lake Roosevelt behind the Grand Coulee Dam destroyed the town. There are a few homes remaining in the area, but all that is left of the town are a pile of rotting wood from my great-grandfather's store, and one remaining apple tree loaded with ripening fruit. It was a stark reminder that nothing stays the same.

The last apple tree at Bossburg, Washington

Last remnants of Bossburg

My great-grandparents moved to the city and he became a groundskeeper for the railroad station (where my grandfather also worked), and did other gardening job that gave him satisfaction and an income. Dad says, "Grandpa chose not to dwell on the past and his difficulties. He understood that changes are a part of life and that it is important to move on to the next phase." Dad also commented that we are in constant motion between the past, present and future. The important thing is to learn from the past, enjoy the present, teach and train the next generation for the future, and then step aside for them.
At 85-years-old, he was in a philosophical frame of mind, and I loved being there with him for that glimpse into the past.

Spokane Railroad Station Tower

I appreciate their legacy of making the best of a situation, and hope to follow their example more often during this coming year.

Family History

I read a lecture by David McCullough about the importance of history to our society. He says, "History is filled with voices that reach out and lift the spirits, sometimes from the distance of centuries." I think that is one of the reasons why I find history so fascinating. I am looking forward to reading his books now that I, theoretically anyway, should have more time when I'm done with school. I know, famous last words, but one can always hope!

When I was going through my divorce, I came across the journal that my great-grandmother kept during the 1930s. She describes her day-to-day life on the plains of Canada, as well as some of her childhood memories. Her story helped me understand that life keeps going on, even when it feels like things will never get any better. Her story gave me courage to carry on during difficult times. In addition to her story, I have collected a number of other treasured family stories over the years that help me to understand myself better. My goal is to put them in a form that my children and grandchildren will want to read. It will probably take me years to finish, but if these stories lie unread in the bottom of a drawer, then what good are they? My hope is that they will help others along the way. I did finish Grandma Zerelda's story for a class project when I first started at the U.

David's grandma Zerelda and I hit it off immediately when we met. I love history, especially family history, and she was delighted to tell me about her childhood in person and sent me long letters filled with fascinating detail about life in the early 20th century. One of the reasons that I was interested in David's family history was to try to understand his background, hoping it would give me a clue to his moods. Sure enough, Grandma Zerelda described her father: "My first recollections of life were while living with Grandpa and Grandma Garner, Mother’s parents. My dad wouldn’t have me. Boys were all he wanted and was angry about each girl that joined the family. It seemed he was either angry or overly happy; no in-between. This was heard many times; relatives or visitors would discuss the story. Some way, no satisfactory answer was to be mine, although this has been pondered many, many times. I was with my grandparents until age 11, when my baby sister was expected while they were living at Caliente, Nevada."

It seems to me that there are more questions about the nature of mental illness than there are answers. Some believe it to be a genetic tendency; others do not. More research needs to be done before we really understand all there is to know on the subject, but in David's case anyway, I really believe it is a genetic tendency, and her history helps me understand him better.